Enabling V Empowering
All parents want their kids to feel good about themselves and at the same time develop inner resources so that they can make good responsible choices when you are not around to guide them.
The distinction that I would like to draw on in this newsletter is enabling v empowering.
Enabling puts the parent in between the child and life experiences and thus does not allow the child to realise the consequences of their choices.
Empowering helps the child grow to be responsible by allowing them to learn and recover from their mistakes.
"Moments of failure are the hallmark of being human" says Riera in his book Staying Connected to your Teenager. It is not about avoiding failure, but recognising that there really is no failure only feedback! Our job as a parent is to let them have these experiences not try to rescue them from their pain and discomfort.
Typical Enabling Behaviours:
* waking your teen up in the morning
* lending your teen money when they have already spent their allowance
* typing up homework or delivering forgotten homework to school
* Excusing them from their family chores or responsibilities because they say they have a lot of work on
* picking up their dirty clothes off their bedroom floor and washing.
Typical Empowering Behaviours:
* listen and give emotional support without fixing, solving or discounting
* create agreements through family meetings or joint problem solving
* let go without abandoning
* sit down the next day and review
* discuss what are they learning from this and what will they do differently next time
* co-create a consequence (if required) that is respectful, reasonable, related to the incident and develops responsibility
* sit back and be patient.
The challenge:
* you can choose influence over control
* you can choose to raise their self confidence over rescuing them
* you can choose to focus on teaching life skills or doing things to protect them
* you can choose to come from a place of trust rather than fear.
Stay connected with your teenager by being responsible for your behaviour and thus allowing your teen to be responsible for theirs.
in Parenting
Source: http://www.readbud.com/Articles/Parenting/Enabling-V-Empowering
Showing posts with label in Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in Parenting. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Vibrant And Vintage: Toile Baby Bedding In Your Son's Nursery
Vibrant And Vintage: Toile Baby Bedding In Your Son's Nursery
Toile baby bedding has enjoyed a meteoric rise over the course of the past decade--although hardly for the first time, given the fact that this unique and elegant fabric first made its grand entrance during the eighteenth century. After a long dormant period, toile has enjoyed an amazing resurgence in popularity, becoming a staple for designers preparing a special haven for a little one.
Characterized by finely detailed prints depicting humble scenes of bygone rural life, toile's consistent ability to introduce elegance and tranquility into any space has made it an understandable favorite. Better yet, toile designs are now offered in a host of exciting new color combination unimagined at the time of its inception, ranging from dramatic pairings of cream and espresso to stunning black and ivory ensembles.
Those hoping to create an impressive and beautiful nursery for the son whose arrival they are so eagerly anticipating may feel some initial hesitation about toile as they shop for baby boy bedding. If you favor simple American country decor, you might think that a toile nursery is too "upscale", but most toile designs fuse seamlessly with this particular existing home decor.
Fans of more modern styles will find that they are surprised by the way that toile's simplicity is flexible enough to accommodate a home full of minimalist furnishings. Toile bedding designs for boys are especially noteworthy for their close attention to detail, observable in the addition of beautiful accents like satin bows and eyelet ruffles, which qualify as the perfect welcome for any little prince.
Needless to say, the dreams of building a grand nursery are frequently interrupted by worries about how much the adventure will cost. The good news is that parents need not go into debt as they furnish their son with a lovely sanctuary. Even the briefest internet search will acquaint shoppers with the fact that toile is readily available to those working with very little cash as they seek out crib bedding.
If you are expecting for the first time, you may be unfamiliar with the relief many mothers and fathers feel when they buy a well coordinated crib set. These ensembles combine all essential linens your son will require--and they are quite reasonably priced. Better yet, the collections often include extras like window valances, which make dressing your beloved little boy's toile nursery a sweet and simple experience.
Toile baby bedding has soared in popularity in the last ten years, although these charming, classic patterns have been around since the 1700s. After years of dormancy, toile is going through a comeback and garnering interest from designers.
Some of our best selling nursery bedding sets are made of toile printed with delicate scenes of a rural America from a bygone era, a decorative touch that produces a serene yet masculine sleeping room for your little boy. Even nicer, toile can these days be found in an array of color combos that weren't even thought of back in the day, and these can be anything from soft cream/espresso to stark black/ivory.
Expectant parents of a new baby boy can be hesitant about using one of the beautiful toile patterns when choosing their baby boy bedding. Some people who decorate in a homey, rustic fashion may suppose that toile patterns are overly delicate to mesh well. However, most of the pretty toile prints involve country scenes and do coordinately perfectly.
in Parenting
http://readbud.com/Articles/Parenting/Vibrant-And-Vintage_58_-Toile-Baby-Bedding-In-Your-Son%27s-Nursery
Toile baby bedding has enjoyed a meteoric rise over the course of the past decade--although hardly for the first time, given the fact that this unique and elegant fabric first made its grand entrance during the eighteenth century. After a long dormant period, toile has enjoyed an amazing resurgence in popularity, becoming a staple for designers preparing a special haven for a little one.
Characterized by finely detailed prints depicting humble scenes of bygone rural life, toile's consistent ability to introduce elegance and tranquility into any space has made it an understandable favorite. Better yet, toile designs are now offered in a host of exciting new color combination unimagined at the time of its inception, ranging from dramatic pairings of cream and espresso to stunning black and ivory ensembles.
Those hoping to create an impressive and beautiful nursery for the son whose arrival they are so eagerly anticipating may feel some initial hesitation about toile as they shop for baby boy bedding. If you favor simple American country decor, you might think that a toile nursery is too "upscale", but most toile designs fuse seamlessly with this particular existing home decor.
Fans of more modern styles will find that they are surprised by the way that toile's simplicity is flexible enough to accommodate a home full of minimalist furnishings. Toile bedding designs for boys are especially noteworthy for their close attention to detail, observable in the addition of beautiful accents like satin bows and eyelet ruffles, which qualify as the perfect welcome for any little prince.
Needless to say, the dreams of building a grand nursery are frequently interrupted by worries about how much the adventure will cost. The good news is that parents need not go into debt as they furnish their son with a lovely sanctuary. Even the briefest internet search will acquaint shoppers with the fact that toile is readily available to those working with very little cash as they seek out crib bedding.
If you are expecting for the first time, you may be unfamiliar with the relief many mothers and fathers feel when they buy a well coordinated crib set. These ensembles combine all essential linens your son will require--and they are quite reasonably priced. Better yet, the collections often include extras like window valances, which make dressing your beloved little boy's toile nursery a sweet and simple experience.
Toile baby bedding has soared in popularity in the last ten years, although these charming, classic patterns have been around since the 1700s. After years of dormancy, toile is going through a comeback and garnering interest from designers.
Some of our best selling nursery bedding sets are made of toile printed with delicate scenes of a rural America from a bygone era, a decorative touch that produces a serene yet masculine sleeping room for your little boy. Even nicer, toile can these days be found in an array of color combos that weren't even thought of back in the day, and these can be anything from soft cream/espresso to stark black/ivory.
Expectant parents of a new baby boy can be hesitant about using one of the beautiful toile patterns when choosing their baby boy bedding. Some people who decorate in a homey, rustic fashion may suppose that toile patterns are overly delicate to mesh well. However, most of the pretty toile prints involve country scenes and do coordinately perfectly.
in Parenting
http://readbud.com/Articles/Parenting/Vibrant-And-Vintage_58_-Toile-Baby-Bedding-In-Your-Son%27s-Nursery
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